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oh please just finish me
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013 02:51 pmI was SO ANGRY 20 minutes ago.
Even half an hour ago.
You see, unlike what you might think from reading what I wrote yesterday, I planned to go to therapy. I always plan to go to therapy. Not going to therapy = major episode. It usually means I can't get out of bed.
I don't make a lot of commitments, but what I have made, I try my very very best to honor. I wasn't always like this; I tended to assume that it wasn't really that important if I didn't feel like going to therapy or whatever, but my last good therapist before this one (Colette, CBT) had a serious talk with me about the kind of work she did to prepare for my appointment and it made me realize that it wasn't beneficial for me OR HER to skip appointments.
So I go to the shit I commit to.If I feel like shit, I stop committing to things. I don't cancel on the day unless I feel like I might die if I tried to get out of bed. I figure that's an acceptable compromise. I also try to tell people, sometimes obsessively, if I'm going to be late or whatever. Which is usually, except to my therapy appts, where I'm nearly always a few minutes early.
OKAY THAT TANGENT ASIDE:
I went out to get into my car and found out my dad's new car was behind mine, effectively boxing me into the carport. (Open air garage.) I tried for about 20 minutes to realign my car to see if I could get out through the open space. HAHAHA.
Verdict: tight fit, but doable, EXCEPT THERE WAS A FUCKING PILLAR IN THE WAY and I couldn't get the angle I needed.
I have made you a dramatic reenactment in Paint:
( image )
No therapy for me! No picking up meds (I'm not about to run out, so that's not an urgent problem, except they're sitting at the pharmacy and the pharmacy gets antsy about it), no brake fluid (this is actually semi-urgent) and no dog food (totally urgent, dogs have no dog food left).
GODDAMNIT.
Even half an hour ago.
You see, unlike what you might think from reading what I wrote yesterday, I planned to go to therapy. I always plan to go to therapy. Not going to therapy = major episode. It usually means I can't get out of bed.
I don't make a lot of commitments, but what I have made, I try my very very best to honor. I wasn't always like this; I tended to assume that it wasn't really that important if I didn't feel like going to therapy or whatever, but my last good therapist before this one (Colette, CBT) had a serious talk with me about the kind of work she did to prepare for my appointment and it made me realize that it wasn't beneficial for me OR HER to skip appointments.
So I go to the shit I commit to.If I feel like shit, I stop committing to things. I don't cancel on the day unless I feel like I might die if I tried to get out of bed. I figure that's an acceptable compromise. I also try to tell people, sometimes obsessively, if I'm going to be late or whatever. Which is usually, except to my therapy appts, where I'm nearly always a few minutes early.
OKAY THAT TANGENT ASIDE:
I went out to get into my car and found out my dad's new car was behind mine, effectively boxing me into the carport. (Open air garage.) I tried for about 20 minutes to realign my car to see if I could get out through the open space. HAHAHA.
Verdict: tight fit, but doable, EXCEPT THERE WAS A FUCKING PILLAR IN THE WAY and I couldn't get the angle I needed.
I have made you a dramatic reenactment in Paint:
( image )
No therapy for me! No picking up meds (I'm not about to run out, so that's not an urgent problem, except they're sitting at the pharmacy and the pharmacy gets antsy about it), no brake fluid (this is actually semi-urgent) and no dog food (totally urgent, dogs have no dog food left).
GODDAMNIT.
