save your sanity for later.

(subject line solely because Thom Yorke gives such a concise description of the torment inherent in human existence, no matter how limited and bland.)

More links! Again, I've done my best to have them from most recent to least. My reading list is all about our struggle to understand ourselves these days, y'all.

Apathy: the Curse, the Cure Psychology Today: that self-defeating attitude could derive either from early childhood programming, which led you to believe that no matter how conscientiously you applied yourself, you still couldn’t succeed...

New Procedure Allows Kidney Transplants from Any Donor NY Times

People with Anxiety May Be Hard-wired to See World Differently Reuters
Cautionary note: very small preliminary study!
On a basic level, the concept that people with anxiety overgeneralize fear-causing stimuli is fascinating. I wonder if that's why my anxiety levels only really dropped after I took up meditation and started taking care of myself—clearly a holistic issue even if Western mind-body duality keeps LYING to everyone. (Erika: outraged at the weirdest shit since 1985.)
Wonder what the limits of the brain's resiliency are, but really, no one knows and I'm (surprisingly to myself) comfortable with that uncertainty. BRAINS ARE SO COOOOOOOOOL.

11 Nutritionist Approved Midnight Snacks
for the Erika in your life who always gets hungry before bed! & with a headline like that, you know it's probs a listicle from Buzzfeed as is the next:

17 Expert Tips To Help Couples Actually Solve Rship Isuses
(Thanks to this article, I tried to nickname Travis. Do you know how hard it is to nickname the name Travis? Almost as hard as it is to nickname the name Erika! So instead I nicknamed the behavior, a particular type of snipe-y arguing I do, as "gremlin-ing." because you don't want to see what happens if you feed me after midnight.
For the record, it makes it wayyyyy easier to be called out when he uses that word, so yeah, thumbs up.)

Unconventional Productivity from Zen Habits, one of my favorite blogs
Once you’ve started to work with the discomfort, you’ll see that it’s No Big Deal. Nothing to worry about. It’s just a feeling, just energy. You’ll relax a little around it. Try to develop a friendly attitude toward it, instead of being harsh on yourself. Just notice, just smile, just breathe, just be gentle.

Why Speaking Up about Mental Illness Is A Privilege—some australian newspaper I don't know and am disinterested in learning more about, as I hoard spoons like a dragon, inclusive of firebreathing.
The only reason I'm able to share my experiences with mental illness is that I do so with little risk. I have a family who love and support me with full awareness of my illnesses. I'm self-employed in a dual-income household. I will not be out on the street, I will not be broke and I will not be ostracised by the people I love. I'm already ahead of the mental health game before I even start.

Ask Bear - I Don't Want to Spend 2016 Feeling Bad About My Looks | Bitch Magazine

whether you get picked up in bars may not be a good barometer of whether you’re attractive, it may just mean that you’re more of a slow burn than a quick hit.
Here, allow me to pause for a few words in praise of being the one who takes the initiative. It’s all very well and good to be noticed, but it’s totally possible that people are noticing and not acting—just as I imagine you have done on many previous occasions.

Sick Woman Theory Mask Magazine
I hope I've linked this before, but assuming I haven't, or you didn't read it the first time... enjoy this piece of genius.

I only wish to point out the presumptions upon which her horror relies: that our vulnerability should be seen and honored, and that we should all receive care, quickly and in a way that “respects the autonomy of the patient,” as the Four Principles of Biomedical Ethics puts it. Of course, these presumptions are what we all should have. But we must ask the question of who is allowed to have them. In whom does society substantiate such beliefs? And in whom does society enforce the opposite?

Healing the Shame of Childhood Abuse with Self Compassion Psychology Today again
"Self-criticism [will] trigger the fight-or-flight response—[...] mobilizing the strength and energy needed to confront or avoid the threat. Although this system was designed by evolution to deal with physical attacks, it is activated just as readily by emotional attacks—from ourselves and others. Over time, increased cortisol levels deplete neurotransmitters involved in the ability to experience pleasure, leading to depression."

the 36 questions that lead to love NY-Times
full PDF of study
"practical methodology for creating closeness in an experimental context"

The New Rules of Relationships Psychology Today
Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.

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Thinking about the internet... Nobody knows how to deal with an asshole disturbing others like a librarian, so why aren't they designing the comment systems? Has anyone in tech ever asked a bunch of librarians what they think about the problem of curating access to culture when we want as many people to enjoy the culture as possible?

Librarians are some of my favorite people. Yes, they were super nice to little girl Erika, but I'm not entirely speaking from my cronyism. It's their instinctual dislike of most people as well as the mandated desire for complete quiet that pleases me so greatly.

I wrote this whole thing up about what being an INFJ means to me and lost it, of course.

( Data loss is the norm around here )

I'm a bit pissed, but not strongly so, because realistically, the Meyers Briggs is a scientific crock of shit. I've been in therapy for ten years, and I can tell you that whatever article you can google up, the vast majority of the psychology community doesn't mention the MBTI, comment on it, or place any validity on its merits.

Psychologists love personality tests, but they're scientists, too. The MBTI lacks specificity and reproducibility, the quality and capacity of measuring reliably and getting the same results time after time——those two things don't happen for this "test", like Rorscarch blots and the dubiously brilliant, seemingly-semi-logical intuition-based bullshit of Freud.

That having been said, the MBTI is a great measure of something, alright, the same thing that horoscopes measure, and that is how much we believe in a specific concept about ourselves.

QED, that's why me and half of tumblr are INFJs. (Also, I'm a Scorpio with Scorpio Rising and half my houses in Scorpio, so fuck me, it pisses me off this stuff can seem accurate to the point where I'm even "the type that doesn't like types".)

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You can probably replace INFJ with "person who thinks INFJ describes them" in all of the below, which is mainly just advice giving regardless. Even though my scientific doubts remain after spending two weeks reading about the MBTI, reading these descriptions and information likewise remain an interesting way of looking at myself from one outside perspective.

( With all of the above in mind, here are my links. )

Still not really talking to anyone about my emotional state, but VE passed this on today and I had to share (you'll understand when you read it):



( Spoilers? )