but you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature

Actual text messages I have sent recently. They have been deliberately mixed up in time frame, and certain lines have been deleted to protect the guilty.

Me: geeeeet online i'm sobored i'm almost sober 1:05 AM

Me: ( so it is on like donkey kong 9:04 AM --- {TW: sexual expletives as humor, mentions of sex-related violence [not as humor!} )