Wednesday, March 5th, 2014

erika: (words: lost for words)
panda's mother died. My heart breaks for her. She's grieving. I don't want to call her or show up because I want to respect that she's also upset with me about unrelated things. But what horrible timing I have.




I'm seeing a new psychiatrist today. 90 minutes of appointment hell. They will judge me. I'm updating the timeline of my life that I made for my last therapist-agency-change. That particular therapist glanced at it once and never again.

It continues to snow. Cold. Bitter. Josh argues with me about going to bed instead of editing word documents and wondering whether I should take off my nail polish.

Nail polish off: can re-do nails, can keep nails naked, looks cleaner than chipped polish. But—— chipped polish may convey that no matter how well I present myself I'm not all there.

It's a thing. It's not a thing that makes sense, but it's a thing.

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Erika

October 2024

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