I'm attacking the illusion but the stopping drives me mad

Found a bunch of stuff I wrote about old boyfriends from 10 and five years ago. Disturbing similarities to things I've written about current partners. Maybe I only date people whose laughs I like, or I have a consistent writing style, or it feels the same because I recognize it as my own writing. Maybe I should let it go. Probably that's it. Still find the resemblance creepy, especially when I feel like I'm in good relationships with happy boundaries now, and definitely wasn't then.

Having trouble trusting my own judgment. Big surprise, right. Yet convinced I'm meant to be in California, and proud of that.

Little victories. Recognizing the dialectic and tension between old and new. Breathe in, breathe out, observe. It's a good day when I find that space between the breath, where I am.