YOU! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR!

[erika]

Okay, so panda and I took time out from our busy schedule of disdaining/disparaging the world & everyone in it for a

plz note: the following quote is from Arms And The Man by sam-storyteller.

(9:46:59 PM) me:

"So I..." he started, because he'd had this little speech written too, though it was meant to be used in a few weeks, but apparently plans had been sped up, and it was a shame to waste it, "I, yesterday, when we were talking about stuff we don't talk about? I had this sort of...moment of revelation. Two, actually, but at the same time. Because I thought, just all at once, I like Tony, I really like Tony. And in order for that to be the case, I had to like men. I'd been wondering for a while, because I don't seem to like women the way some men do, but I wasn't sure until then, and then I was. So boom, you know? In a second. I'm gay, and I'm into Tony Stark."

It took Tony a second to respond and Steve was genuinely worried he'd broken his best friend when Tony said, "I totally get a toaster."

"What?" Steve asked, confused.

"Never mind," Tony said, waving it off.

(9:47:51 PM) lydia: is the toaster thing a game show reference?

(9:47:57 PM) me: ...
(9:48:00 PM) me: wtf
(9:48:02 PM) me: are you captain america

(9:48:08 PM) lydia: yes
(9:48:09 PM) lydia: yes i am

(9:48:10 PM) me: LYDIA

(9:48:11 PM) lydia: you found me out

(9:48:18 PM) lydia: I AM STEVE ROGERS OKAY

(9:48:22 PM) me: THAT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST 'I TURNED SOMEONE GAY' REFERENCE EVER

(9:48:23 PM) lydia: .... STEVIE ROGERS

(9:48:26 PM) me: JESUS CHRIST LYDIA

(9:48:35 PM) lydia: I SPENT 70 YEARS IN A BLOCK OF ICE
(9:48:38 PM) lydia: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
(9:49:11 PM) lydia: ok so you are explaining it to me right

(9:49:22 PM) me: yes

(9:49:23 PM) lydia: or are you just gonna sit there and stare at me in judgmental silence for a while longer

(9:49:25 PM) me: i'm googling it
(9:49:27 PM) me: hang on
(9:49:38 PM) me: ok
(9:49:43 PM) me: i knew all of what i turned up
(9:49:47 PM) me: but i had to make sure i had it right
(9:49:51 PM) me: okay so you know like...
(9:50:10 PM) me: sometimes banks or um, used/new car places have like, promotions

(9:50:19 PM) lydia: ok

(9:50:32 PM) me: where you sign up and you get free checking or a piggy bank or an air freshener for your new car or something stupid
(9:50:42 PM) me: or like 25 bucks in your new acct

(9:50:52 PM) lydia: yes

(9:51:23 PM) me: the joke goes that for every 'straight' person you seduce into the ranks of homosexuality, the 'recruiter' gets a toaster
(9:51:50 PM) me: to be paid at the next World QUILTBAG Conference (Warning: Acronym May Change Under Pressure)
(9:52:00 PM) me: where we discuss the gay agenda, i guess
(9:52:38 PM) me: mostly what the cover of the agenda will look like, [some] gay men are very into Lisa Frank

And then we started talking about the acronym QUILTBAG and now I'm making fun of her mom. Kind of. Her mom is very impressive, especially with that whole still being alive thing.