i'll put all my pieces back together, where they belong
Friday, May 29th, 2020 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
erikaHad surgery. Surgery went well, insofar as anyone julienning bits of me could say.
The anesthesiologist was an older Asian man and he was absolutely adorable. Not just because he told me he had 40 years of experience and he looked about 45, but because of how he reacted when I told him about my bad reaction to propofol.
Long story short, I very politely requested ketamine instead of propofol, because the last 4 times I've had surgery and they used propofol, I got extra crazy a day later, and it lasts for a whole damn week. Extra crazy as in suicidally nihilistic to the point of casual shoplifting in front of store associates because 'life is meaningless anyway'. Anyway, the anesthesiologist bounced in joy and basically told me I'd get all the ketamine I wanted for telling me something new.
He also said I'm more likely to be reacting badly to the combination of anesthetic gas (used before the propofol to induce unconsciousness) and narcotic pain meds, since he's literally never heard of this before and the other two have depression as a known side effect, well, it'd be more likely, but no matter! Ketamine it was! So fascinating, your strange reaction. Tell me more!
You know that's someone who really loves learning when they're literally bouncing at being contradicted. (He also bonded with me over racism [must've been hard growing up in Iowa] right before surgery, which was boss. Nothing like validation to make me relax.)
Surgery itself on ketamine was fun times. Coming out I was basically still dreaming: saw the weave on the surgical drape turn into horses which galloped off to bring the doctors to fight my infection. Go team!
Trav says I continue to be shockingly alert post-surgery. I apparently just like to make fun of how "very tired" I am and then go to bed early. Rockstar.
In other news, I continue to be the most boring person when prescribed narcotics, taking only half of the dose as soon as possible, halving that again when the pain decreases, and then mixing the rest with dog poop and throwing them out. HA. TAKE THAT, UNNECESSARY NARCAN PRESCRIPTION.
Still had a damn trip&fall type accident on Monday, the day I took my last 8th of a dose. Do not anticipate telling my doctors, as I still belong to the Never Broke a Bone club, and didn't even sprain shit this time. Probably should but don't wanna, there were a lot of extenuating circumstances and I don't want to be getting Olds, as I turn a whopping 35 this year, and am NOT a damn Fall Risk.
I'm just dissociating, not incapable, okaaaaaaaaaay?
The nipple is recovering well although I wasn't expecting to have an interesting new scar around the 'cookie', not inwards like a pizza. Surgery follow up appointment on Monday.
In other news, my new therapist (of 18 months, Robin) successfully argued me into actually trying CBT techniques on my negative schemas. I was hesitant—Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was detrimental when I was still dealing with active traumatization at the time of implementation, lo those niner tenner years ago when I still worked with Colette—but yeah, I have a lot more to say about that soon.
I also have a new job! Migrated fields a little. But yeah, one entry at a time, will write about that soon too.
Oh, and Trav and I are making our happy way through Stargate Atlantis! one of us, one of usssssssss We've made it to The Long Goodbye which is Trav's favorite episode of the three we watched tonight, even though it included Grace Under Pressure. (Philistine.) David Hewlett, how are you so awesome?
The anesthesiologist was an older Asian man and he was absolutely adorable. Not just because he told me he had 40 years of experience and he looked about 45, but because of how he reacted when I told him about my bad reaction to propofol.
Long story short, I very politely requested ketamine instead of propofol, because the last 4 times I've had surgery and they used propofol, I got extra crazy a day later, and it lasts for a whole damn week. Extra crazy as in suicidally nihilistic to the point of casual shoplifting in front of store associates because 'life is meaningless anyway'. Anyway, the anesthesiologist bounced in joy and basically told me I'd get all the ketamine I wanted for telling me something new.
He also said I'm more likely to be reacting badly to the combination of anesthetic gas (used before the propofol to induce unconsciousness) and narcotic pain meds, since he's literally never heard of this before and the other two have depression as a known side effect, well, it'd be more likely, but no matter! Ketamine it was! So fascinating, your strange reaction. Tell me more!
You know that's someone who really loves learning when they're literally bouncing at being contradicted. (He also bonded with me over racism [must've been hard growing up in Iowa] right before surgery, which was boss. Nothing like validation to make me relax.)
Surgery itself on ketamine was fun times. Coming out I was basically still dreaming: saw the weave on the surgical drape turn into horses which galloped off to bring the doctors to fight my infection. Go team!
Trav says I continue to be shockingly alert post-surgery. I apparently just like to make fun of how "very tired" I am and then go to bed early. Rockstar.
In other news, I continue to be the most boring person when prescribed narcotics, taking only half of the dose as soon as possible, halving that again when the pain decreases, and then mixing the rest with dog poop and throwing them out. HA. TAKE THAT, UNNECESSARY NARCAN PRESCRIPTION.
Still had a damn trip&fall type accident on Monday, the day I took my last 8th of a dose. Do not anticipate telling my doctors, as I still belong to the Never Broke a Bone club, and didn't even sprain shit this time. Probably should but don't wanna, there were a lot of extenuating circumstances and I don't want to be getting Olds, as I turn a whopping 35 this year, and am NOT a damn Fall Risk.
I'm just dissociating, not incapable, okaaaaaaaaaay?
The nipple is recovering well although I wasn't expecting to have an interesting new scar around the 'cookie', not inwards like a pizza. Surgery follow up appointment on Monday.
In other news, my new therapist (of 18 months, Robin) successfully argued me into actually trying CBT techniques on my negative schemas. I was hesitant—Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was detrimental when I was still dealing with active traumatization at the time of implementation, lo those niner tenner years ago when I still worked with Colette—but yeah, I have a lot more to say about that soon.
I also have a new job! Migrated fields a little. But yeah, one entry at a time, will write about that soon too.
Oh, and Trav and I are making our happy way through Stargate Atlantis! one of us, one of usssssssss We've made it to The Long Goodbye which is Trav's favorite episode of the three we watched tonight, even though it included Grace Under Pressure. (Philistine.) David Hewlett, how are you so awesome?
