save your sanity for later.

Regarding Josh and I living together: I have no idea how I'm pulling this one off but to my surprise, he's still here. We haven't found a house yet, because ofc we haven't, my younger brother (and therefore my access to six+ burly 19 year olds) is leaving for New Zealand next week and if all I had to do on moving day was direct burly shirtless barely legal men around, that would be too easy.

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For those of you wondering about panda, she too is still around, sticking improvised shivs in people's throats and whatnot. Or at least probably wishing to. Having talked to her this morning, I think it's safe to say she hasn't actually done it. Yet. We can never count her out entirely.

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Uh. I've been working on this entry for a week and I finally came up with something important enough to hit "post" on:

I just got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Like, last night. Seriously. So there's that. I'm not sure why it's such a fucking surprise to me, because NO ONE ELSE I've given the news sounded the slightest bit surprised, but I'm still kinda shocked.

Oh, I also have sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome. Because you know me, I'm a pringles kind of girl when it comes to getting new chronic dx, I can't have just one.

I'll be afk for a few hours because I'm gonna go get my blood sucked out of me for confirmational tests (dr said she's 90% sure regardless) and then take a soak in the public pool's hot tub for an hour or so, because otherwise there will be ... more blood.

That sounded more threatening in my head. As in, at all threatening. My threats are getting ridiculous. [Ignore anyone who said they were already ridiculous. panda, stop writing that comment in your head right now.]

I've been experimenting with finding the humorous side of these new conditions already, however! Last night, I told Josh that he had to give me the pillow I wanted because I have fibromyalgia. I only cried a little bit, too. Success!

Most annoying thing about semi-long-distance-relationship involving visiting someone else for multiple days nearly every week?

No, it's not the dreaded LDR UTI (all praise be to FSM).

It's actually two things that lead towards the same thing:

I don't know where my meds are, my clothes are, or my toiletries are at any given time.

I feel weird whenever I'm not around Josh OR when I'm not around my computer.

Which leads to the base idea, I think:

I have no idea where home is anymore.

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On a side note, my mother is convinced that she's anonymous in her facebook posts where she has put words on pictures she took.

I don't have the heart to tell her about EXIF data.*

*(Although running a quick scan on multiple pictures that I recognize [i.e. she must have taken] suggests that facebook may strip it, or her phone is not inputting location data, or the programs she's running them through strip it, praise FSM.)

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uh, in other news... Josh's accident totalled his vehicle, he's still fine but maybe some cracked ribs, he's buying my dad's extra car (that's a decently long story involving a Mercedes and my father's amazing impulsive shopping ability, wait, no, that pretty much covers it).

So I was going to drive back to Middle of Nowhere tomorrow, after having left yesterday, to drop off the new car and uh, teach Josh how to drive manual. Yes. He doesn't know how. It's okay, we all have to learn sometime. Ideally maybe not when we're buying a car that's manual, but hey, that's how I learned.

Yeah, so as I'm busily psyching myself up for that experience which is undoubtedly going to be fun and games the entire time, panda reminded me that she had prior claim to my physical presence (and a more important one, to boot) and... now I'm all confused and feeling bad that I'm letting BOTH of them down somehow, panda by not remembering her VERY IMPORTANT prior claim and Josh by not being able to magically be in two places at once.

(Plus Josh was asleep when I called to let him know so the conversation took 5 minutes and it's even odds whether he actually remembers 'discussing' it, though to be fair there wasn't much to discuss.)

So anyway.... When my head literally explodes from overthinking everything and/or blaming myself for 99.9% of everything that isn't actually under my control in any way——I knew it would happen, I'm just saying.

Also if I'm getting a migraine right now like it feels like I may just start praying for my head to explode and save the wait, really.

Amazingly, considering the giant hailstorm that has been my life ever since I got back from Dallas (oh, that precious week, flittering away too damn quickly)——regardless, amazingly, I am IN A GOOD MOOD despite the shit that I've had to deal with, including:

JUST TODAY, life has crapped on me by:

• running a shopping cart into my foot (which still fucking hurts)


• the radio show I went to IC to observe being cancelled because equipment was missing (WTF) and the monitors weren't working (????)


• the elevator where I parked my car being broken... where was my car parked? Oh yeah, the top floor. 12 flights of stairs later...

On the plus side, where I have chosen to focus my energy:

• I got to talk to R~ on the phone (for the first time this week*)! It was very happy-making.


• I have successfully turned in all my homework this week despite not having any fucking textbooks! YES! I AM A WINNER!


• My financial aid dept at the college claims I should receive my check "soon" (i.e. within 3 weeks)


• I have not destroyed any relationships, despite being extremely depressed off and on.

SUCCESS.

*note: first time this week, not first time ever