do you need anybody? I just need someone to love. Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love...

[erika]

You get added to my friends' lists if all of the following seem to be true:

1) I like what I see and want to get to know you better.
2) You reflect on your life experiences in depth.
3) You can express yourself effectively, and write material that is original. Expressing yourself effectively means what you write about is interesting even if I don't know you personally, and you write in a style I can comprehend—which usually necessitates proper punctuation and a general grasp of English spelling.
4) You have a good sense of humor and a fairly realistic view of the world—i.e. you think I'm amusing and you don't believe you're an elf. Unless you are an elf, in which case, I'm cool with it.

Reasons I delete people from my friends' list include:
1) You're not as interesting as I thought.
2) Problematic behavior/language happens often with no attempts to change.
3) You prefer deliberate ignorance, and I didn't notice.
4) You make journal entries and / or comments that indicate prejudice, ableism, etc.
5) You completely ignore me—i.e. neither adding me to their friends' list (if they are a friends' only journal) nor replying to my comments, making me feel like I've stepped into a private party where I am completely unwelcome.
6) You are an emotional vampire and I have narrowly escaped your snare.

There is no one on my friends' list who I dislike, am annoyed by, or am disinterested in. The second I realize I'm annoyed by / offended by / disinterested in someone, I drop them. So feel privileged.

(inspired by xoxosimon and his post about this, and also alchemi's whining at me.)

[edited 10/3/10 for ableist language, clarification)
[edited 5/16/2016 because I realized slurs against intelligence are still ableist and don't accurately describe what I mean]

Comments

[dotgirl.livejournal.com]

I do feel special!

"You love me! You really love me!"

[kyra.livejournal.com]

But I am a faerie! Or rather, a fairy. Or rather, a half-fairy.

Except I kinda like the term "queer" better. :P

[xoxosimon.livejournal.com]

i do feel priviledged. every time i read something that i know you've got on a fairly exclusive filter, i feel incredibly lucky that you trust me and want me to read what you're writing; every time you comment on one of my posts, i'm flattered that you've read what i've written, and care enough to say something about it.

</comment type="fanboy">

[rhapsodyinblue.livejournal.com]

I certainly do feel privileged! ;) And I'm glad that you are so thoughtful about this. I know I'll be doing necessary trimming when I switch over to a new journal this summer, and I appreciate your list of criteria!

Re: "You love me! You really love me!"

[erika]

Faerie != fairy. Faerie is glitter & stars & moon is my sister and that sort of thing. Fairy is hey, I dig my own sex, yeah. Also a little flamboyant, I would think. Anyway. Not same thing in my mind.

Re: "You love me! You really love me!"

[kyra.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understand the distinction. I was commenting entirely tongue-in-cheek because I've been at work for far too long today and am ragingly hyper and silly due to a sugar overdose.

[techieguru.livejournal.com]

Well, cool! How'd I manage to sneak by #6? ;)

[alchemi.livejournal.com]

Well done.

[erika]

It's more of a clinical psychosis definition, actually. I had one very specific person in mind when I wrote that!

[erika]

<nods> I think with a friends' list of 300 people, all of whom I read carefully, I need to have some sort of concrete idea about what I want to read!

[erika]

I feel more privileged that YOU keep me on--I would've thought I was far too whiny for your delectable sweetness-and-light self.

[dotgirl.livejournal.com]

ok, first of all, you're silly - you're one of my favourite people.

second - hi, have i not been the whiniest thing *ever* the last month? ye gods.

third - i actually had someone yell at me because i'm "too happy" and they hate it. i think i just sent them a smiley face in response. *snicker*

[furthermore.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why you added me, seeing as how I probably don't fall into any of your 4 reasons for doing so. Nonetheless, I'm glad for it. :)

pfeh!

[crickwooder.livejournal.com]

I am a shallow psychotic faerie with WINGS OF DEATH!

Yet you like me! I am moved! (Hi! Hi hi hi!)

[pastmidnight.livejournal.com]

I'm psychotic, I just hide it REAL well!! HAHAHA.

Whoa.

[altoidsaddict.livejournal.com]

I don't believe I am a faerie, but I do need to figure out why I crap glitter.

[redgreenblue.livejournal.com]

I don't claim to speak with brilliance and intelligence 100% of the time. In fact, I probably don't.

Nevertheless, I'm honored. :-)

[zannah.livejournal.com]

I found number 3: "You're actually quite stupid, I just didn't notice at first" incredibly funny. Does this make me a bad person?

[spr0cket.livejournal.com]

Erika, when do we get to have sex? I BROKE TWO OF MY VIBRATORS. *pouts*

(random entertainment because I'm too tired to come up with anything, you know, real comment-ish hehe)

[charmenders.livejournal.com]

Anna May Wong wishes to kiss you.

[obscurek.livejournal.com]

Why thank you. I feel quite honoured. More importantly, if you impose such high standards on your friends list I'm going to have to start wandering through the three hundred and some odd people listed as your friend.

[erika]

See, I do like you. Very much. And I respect you, and I think your comments are well written, and yay! You are my friend!

[erika]

Thank you. Where's yours, again?

[xoxosimon.livejournal.com]

and that makes me happy. :) yay indeed.

[erika]

I love your pictures, and I think you express yourself well through them, even if you don't update nearly enough.