can't keep me down!
Thursday, December 31st, 2009 02:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
erikaNew Year's Resolutions:
(resolutions from last year, 2007, 2006, 2005, none for 2004, 2003 & 2002)
I did pretty good on all of those, except the write more, damnit resolution. It wasn't specific as to journal or creative writing, but I'm going to go with "both" and "didn't do enough."
This year's resolutions:
· Continue to be happy.
· Continue to improve on taking care of my personal life.
· Health: Evaluate whether quitting smoking is worth it. Eat more regularly. Sleep cycle, much better than it was previously, keep at it. Exercise. (Ideally with some sort of plan, whether walking the dogs or going swimming or whatever.)
· Friendships: Secret resolution. (!) Also: keep in touch with friends to the extent made possible by their lives & my own. Meet up more often with friends who live in the area/are visiting.
· Mental health: Continue to: take medication daily; attend therapist, psychiatrist, and group therapy appointments. New: Mood log at least 7 times a week.
· Write more.
· Do well in classes. Ideally all As, we'll see how this goes. Since I'm only taking 2 classes this first semester, it should be okay.
· Possibly gain and retain job that does not interfere with school.
· Control finances & spending.
Retrospective:
January: no posts, so I'm kind of at a loss.
February: I contemplate what it's like living with a reduced level of insanity and make the startling claim that much of depression is a choice.
March: I visit Austin and have a minor breakdown, but he's okay with it and everything goes well. I start on anti-psychotics, my therapist suggests a short jaunt to the hospital if necessary. My initial application for disability gets denied.
April: How do I cope with offers of help? Abilify drives me nuts at an increased dosage, I ask my brother for a loan to go to Alena's wedding.
May: Apparently nothing! Austin did come to visit me in the later half, and stayed for Alena's wedding.
June: Alena gets married! I did not write about it, because I fail. Wrote in my paper journal though I think.
July: Psychiatrist adds Adderall to my cocktail, I start vaguely feeling like maybe life is worth living again. My appeal to the initial denial of SSA disability is denied, onto step 3: life when you're waiting for an ALJ hearing. (Note: still waiting, by the way.)
August: I admit to something that I would really rather not say publicly, it has an adverse affect on my relationship & I feel like shit. The LJ comments people leave me are pretty much the only reason I was able to get through the guilt.
I start trying to figure out a way to NOT break up with Austin every time I get depressed.
September: I start on higher doses of Adderall, which really help with my engagement with the world. I make a graph explaining the magical land of efficacy. I worry about being manic. I mention my SCL worker for the first time. In spite of all of my diagnoses, "All in all I'm actually happy."
October: I start volunteering. I make WoW posts no one cares about except people who play WOW. I ask for love at the love meme. I relapse on the whole "not treating boyfriend like shit" thing when depressed. I realize therapy doesn't cure everything, even though it's nice to have someone in your corner. Then...
Austin and I break up. He starts acting like an asshole. I make the first of many contracts with myself to not talk to him anymore.
November: I am ambivalent about Austin. I get my annual at PPH. I turn 24. My brother and his wife visit, I interview for a job at UPS (they never call me back), I interview for 3 jobs at hotels (they never call me back either). I start vocational rehabilitation. I start STEPPS.
December: I'm going back to school! Christmas is great.
All in all, a pretty fucking good year. Despite the breakup with Austin, which I'm slowly getting over (much harder than I thought it would be), I continued to be happy, worked on taking better physical care of myself, freaked out less, always took my meds and always went to therapy/doctor's appointments/voc rehab/group therapy. I also volunteered and went to every single session of that.
Next year looks to be even better, what with going back to school, my secret resolution, and I fully expect my mental health to become more stable & hopefully stay at the good level that it's at now.
(Plus, I have a new phone/toy. I mean, really. What can go wrong that I can't use my blackberry to macguyver my way out of?)
(resolutions from last year, 2007, 2006, 2005, none for 2004, 2003 & 2002)
I did pretty good on all of those, except the write more, damnit resolution. It wasn't specific as to journal or creative writing, but I'm going to go with "both" and "didn't do enough."
This year's resolutions:
· Continue to be happy.
· Continue to improve on taking care of my personal life.
· Health: Evaluate whether quitting smoking is worth it. Eat more regularly. Sleep cycle, much better than it was previously, keep at it. Exercise. (Ideally with some sort of plan, whether walking the dogs or going swimming or whatever.)
· Friendships: Secret resolution. (!) Also: keep in touch with friends to the extent made possible by their lives & my own. Meet up more often with friends who live in the area/are visiting.
· Mental health: Continue to: take medication daily; attend therapist, psychiatrist, and group therapy appointments. New: Mood log at least 7 times a week.
· Write more.
· Do well in classes. Ideally all As, we'll see how this goes. Since I'm only taking 2 classes this first semester, it should be okay.
· Possibly gain and retain job that does not interfere with school.
· Control finances & spending.
Retrospective:
January: no posts, so I'm kind of at a loss.
February: I contemplate what it's like living with a reduced level of insanity and make the startling claim that much of depression is a choice.
March: I visit Austin and have a minor breakdown, but he's okay with it and everything goes well. I start on anti-psychotics, my therapist suggests a short jaunt to the hospital if necessary. My initial application for disability gets denied.
April: How do I cope with offers of help? Abilify drives me nuts at an increased dosage, I ask my brother for a loan to go to Alena's wedding.
May: Apparently nothing! Austin did come to visit me in the later half, and stayed for Alena's wedding.
June: Alena gets married! I did not write about it, because I fail. Wrote in my paper journal though I think.
July: Psychiatrist adds Adderall to my cocktail, I start vaguely feeling like maybe life is worth living again. My appeal to the initial denial of SSA disability is denied, onto step 3: life when you're waiting for an ALJ hearing. (Note: still waiting, by the way.)
August: I admit to something that I would really rather not say publicly, it has an adverse affect on my relationship & I feel like shit. The LJ comments people leave me are pretty much the only reason I was able to get through the guilt.
I start trying to figure out a way to NOT break up with Austin every time I get depressed.
September: I start on higher doses of Adderall, which really help with my engagement with the world. I make a graph explaining the magical land of efficacy. I worry about being manic. I mention my SCL worker for the first time. In spite of all of my diagnoses, "All in all I'm actually happy."
October: I start volunteering. I make WoW posts no one cares about except people who play WOW. I ask for love at the love meme. I relapse on the whole "not treating boyfriend like shit" thing when depressed. I realize therapy doesn't cure everything, even though it's nice to have someone in your corner. Then...
Austin and I break up. He starts acting like an asshole. I make the first of many contracts with myself to not talk to him anymore.
November: I am ambivalent about Austin. I get my annual at PPH. I turn 24. My brother and his wife visit, I interview for a job at UPS (they never call me back), I interview for 3 jobs at hotels (they never call me back either). I start vocational rehabilitation. I start STEPPS.
December: I'm going back to school! Christmas is great.
All in all, a pretty fucking good year. Despite the breakup with Austin, which I'm slowly getting over (much harder than I thought it would be), I continued to be happy, worked on taking better physical care of myself, freaked out less, always took my meds and always went to therapy/doctor's appointments/voc rehab/group therapy. I also volunteered and went to every single session of that.
Next year looks to be even better, what with going back to school, my secret resolution, and I fully expect my mental health to become more stable & hopefully stay at the good level that it's at now.
(Plus, I have a new phone/toy. I mean, really. What can go wrong that I can't use my blackberry to macguyver my way out of?)
