i can see a new horizon

[erika]

Okay, so what I have found helpful for the state of my mind, in no particular order:

· Meditation. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, doesn't matter. Just do it, is my motto.
Side note: Metta meditation is extremely helpful for dealing with resentment, anger, and frustration issues regarding other people. (YMM, ofc, V.)

· Yoga, for reconnecting to my body.

· Taking showers as necessary, and pampering myself while in the shower—loofas, high quality hair products, etc.

· Getting dressed up— this includes a good outfit, wearing makeup, etc. If I do this, I'm much less likely to sulk around at home all day because I think hey, I look fairly decent, why not share this with the world? Plus then there's the work you put into your appearance going down the drain if you don't leave the house.

· Eating regularly. I actually have a program where I track whether or not I've eaten 3 squares a day. Nothing more than that, but just having that simple tracking has been pretty helpful.

· Having a schedule. Having a schedule. HAVING A SCHEDULE. Having places you have to be or things you have to do, sometimes both. VERY IMPORTANT.

· Sleeping a normal amount; whether that means dragging yourself out of bed after only 8 1/2 hours of sleep (me) or practicing good sleep hygiene and using meds so you can actually sleep (many people I know)—sleep is INCREDIBLY important.

· Do something that makes you feel productive. Cleaning, writing, getting your inbox down to the bare essentials, whatever, just do it, or if you can't focus on the whole task, just try a little bit of it. Trust me, you'll 99.9% of the time feel, at least, a little better because you can look back on that and say, yes, I did that.

· Therapy. It's one of the cornerstones of my mental wellness program.

Note: this is what works for me
what works for me may not work for you
YMMV
void where prohibited

Comments

[annalytica]

Thanks for this. I really need to do all these things more, with the exception of getting dressed up, though just getting dressed at all would be progress on some days.

[erika]

Yeah, I should've been more clear. These are the things that work for me, and especially the getting dressed up bit I know is iffy for others.

[annalytica]

No, you were perfectly clear. I was just mentioning that that happens to be a thing that doesn't work for me, not saying I thought you were saying it should work for anyone else!

[eriktrips]

Thanks for the metta link. I was not aware of this specific kind of meditation but I think it might be very useful for me.

I am also getting some good stuff out of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, mostly on my own--my therapist approves, but she is not a DBT specialist. I don't know if you have the problems with self-regard that I do, but I am in a life-and-death struggle with debilitating shame and DBT is helping me quite a bit with that. The DBT self help website (http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/) has been most useful. YMMV, as always. :)

[erika]

DBT is indeed extremely helpful. I was in an intensive DBT group for six months and it was probably the most interesting and helpful therapy I've had.

[erika]

One of these days I should do a post about all the different kinds of therapy I've been in, it might be interesting.

[eriktrips]

That would be interesting. I'd read it! :)

All of my therapists have been eclectic/pragmatic, none espousing any single method or approach, although my therapist-before-this-one did have some concrete strategies that she tried to use. Some of them backfired, but part of being neurologically interesting is learning to survive bad therapy, I think.

I have considered finding a DBT group but I do not do well with groups, militant introvert that I am. I find it exhausting just sitting in the same room with x number of people.

[erika]

You could find a DBT therapist. Failing that or if you prefer to remain with your current therapist, there are a number of good DBT workbooks & I could recommend some if you want. I find DBT dovetails VERY nicely with mindfulness.

[eriktrips]

If I had lots of money I might look for a DBT therapist as an adjunct to the therapy I am doing, but I don't want to give up my current therapist, who is wonderful of course, but also I have been seeing her since 1997 and she is older than I am--not that a younger person couldn't do the job well, but I am used to doing therapy with people older than I am, and it is getting harder to find those sorts of people. I'm getting old! :)

Workbook recommendations would be welcome. I have the one from New Harbinger already, entitled, imaginatively, The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook. It has been useful thus far although because I have it in virtual form it came without a table of contents so I have been having to reconstruct the overall plan of the text from the text itself. Good thing I went to school for this sort of thing!

But yes I find it easy to spot the Buddhist influences in it and they are so much friendlier and non-blaming than Protestant influences it sort of blows my mind. I told Nan (current therapist) that DBT principles were refreshingly non-judgmental and she was a bit puzzled as I think she thinks most therapeutic approaches are non-judgmental but I can spot a Christian moralistic inflection at distances approaching infinity and there are lots of them in American therapeutic philosophies.

By the way, I write with almost no commas. It's a stylistic choice, but let me know if it makes reading comprehension impossible and I will sprinkle them back in. :)

[deathgaze]

My therapist keeps recommending DBT to me but hasn't done anything with me about it, and I have no motivation to read about it myself. But does it really help?

[erika]

It depends on what your issues are. If you have problems with emotional regulation, then yes, absolutely.

I found it very helpful even though my diagnosis is not strictly what DBT is designed for (borderline personality disorder/emotional intensity disorder).