save your sanity for later.

I have been very lazy about posting here and regretful about it. I have been posting a little more often on tumblr, because the UI has been good to upload pictures of various things I did in the real world. I plan to eventually cross-post here, but it will take me a little time.

With tumblr's recent tomfoolery last week, it makes me aware that I do really want to be more active on this site and maybe to dust off trying to use pillowfort at least as a backup. I also am enchanted by the idea of having my own little webpage that is a bit more than my carrd, but I am not sure which platform I want to use. I did have a neocities account, but I feel like it's a little above my ability to envision what I want. I do know very basic stuff about HTML and CSS such that I can at least search my way through W3 School or whatever and figure out how to edit stuff, but I am not a designer without a base underneath. I have a carrd premium account because it's so cheap, but I'm not sure if it's too limited.

Thursday was the Closing Ceremony for my first full school year at the school where I currently teach. I'm proud of myself and my kids, and it's a bit bittersweet. Of course, it is a bit strange given that I will see a lot of them again in about three weeks. I have most days off between now and April 1, but I do have training on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.

I've been mostly lying in bed too much today and eating, but I have spent a few little bursts of 15-20 minutes tidying things yesterday and today, so that has been good. I have an appointment to go get my hair worked on tomorrow, but I'm still a little nervous and less sure of what I want than some previous efforts.

Last year, after my participation in Dragon Age Big Bang, I kind of stopped writing much for a long time. I spent so much time trying to get it to work and be solid, despite stress and life transitions, and then it never really got any readership except for my challenge assigned beta and artist, and it was a real kick to morale. I knew it was a rare pair, so I didn't need a lot of interaction, but it just felt like it wasn't actually for anyone, such that I kind of stopped thinking about it at all afterward and got a sort of sour taste in my mouth.

I'm participating in DABB again, but I am doing something much more safe and less ambitious, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't largely because I've remained in the community for this whole time, and they're a good group of people to hang around.

I am working on my Death Note fic, but I slowed down for about a week and a half due to end of term documentation pressures, headaches, and general malaise, but any mental malaise was mostly secondary, temporary, hormonal.

I played the recent limited event on Genshin Impact that had a lot of Mondstadt early content nostalgia, plus some character development, and I really enjoyed doing that. I also have, frankly, so many years of content to cover in Genshin that I honestly worry sometimes if I will somehow end up not finishing it before End of Service at whatever undefined point in the future, though I imagine they won't have any reason to do that until a few years after the story is completely finished, which is coming but not immediately. Star Rail is newer but still kind of daunting. Less so, though.

So, in general, I feel no particular compulsion to ever get into new video games.

However.

Recently, something alarming happened. I shared this post with a friend. I was under the impression that maybe Leon, in this context, was a Dead by Daylight specific character, but I was very vaguely familiar with Leon Kennedy from internet osmosis and being shown this video a long time ago:



My friend confirmed that Leon DBD was a guest character but was, in fact, Leon S. Kennedy (Resident Evil). My friend is a cishet guy, but he does like Leon a lot and is delighted by how the internet won't stop thirsting for him. Conversations indulging that apparently he had more of an interest in Resident Evil than I ever knew about have infected me with a blorbo-in-law infection, so I am at least vaguely considering laying RE2 and RE4 remake eventually for Leon. The thing I bought today on the Steam sale is a bundle of the two earlier remake games, so I may or may not install RE3 and play it too if I get into it. I'm a little worried that it'll be too hard or fussy for me to play, since I'm not a very skilled gamer, but I am... compelled.

I also have just been picking through the AO3 tag.

And finally, I went to see Wicked: For Good in the theater yesterday since it is finally in Japanese theaters.

I enjoyed it a lot and cried during the titular song a fair bit. I actually am surprised at how there were things about the story I didn't actually know without having seen it performed even though I knew the original Broadway soundtrack since my teens by being a teen sometimes-theater / lefty / queer kid.

tw: mention of eating disorders -- I know that during the press tour I would see all these pictures of Ariana and Cynthia and saw a lot of concern about how thin they both are and how this felt kind of like a weird symptom of American conservative and fascist leanings in the zeitgeist. I still don't know what to say about that. However, I will say that after actually watching it that one of the new, original songs for the movie, "No Place Like Home" felt pleasantly political, especially when listening back after the movie without the dialogue and context dispersed in.



Also, I am usually an Elphaba type even though I like the character relationships a lot. I get most excited when Elphaba is the lead in any scene for the character, the vibe, and the fact that her vocal part is easier for me to follow, but I feel like Ariana really surprised me with how well she did in this particular scene. It's haunting me.



Though it is, I admit, the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated / But I couldn't be happier, simply couldn't be happier / Well, not simply, 'cause getting your dreams / It's strange, but it seems a little, well... complicated / There's a kind of a sort of cost / There's a couple of things get lost / There are bridges you cross / You didn't know you crossed until you crossed / And if that joy, that thrill / Doesn't thrill like you think it will / Still, with this perfect finale / The cheers and the bally-hoo / Who wouldn't be happier? / So, I couldn't be happier / Because happy is what happens / When all your dreams come true

Kills me.

I also adore how Fiyero obviously cares about Glinda to the point that "of course he would marry her if it makes her happy" even though he's miserable without their third and really just wants both of them to run away and go find their missing girlfriend. Thropple canon in my heart.

I also watched the first episode of Frieren yesterday. Best friend asked me to. I really liked it.

I wish there were more energy and hours in the day for my various enthusiasms.