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Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
erikaHi, this is Erika.
I'm at the computer at the library across the street from my hou--where my house used to be. Everything in my house is gone. Everything, it's ... gone.
I was on the computer about midnight, when I smelled smoke. I had just been outside to take out the trash, and so I figured that it was just my parents smoking. My mother went upstairs and started screamed at me that the kitchen was on fire--I ran upstairs, and there was ... this inferno coming in from outside, my mother holding a fire extinguisher shouting at me frantically.
I pulled my little sister out of bed and shoved her outside; I ran into my parents' bedroom and woke up my father. My little brother was asleep downstairs, I remember running back downstairs and waking him up, carrying him halfway up the stairs when he wasn't fast enough.
I screamed and screamed and screamed. I thought the police officer who was restraining me from running back in the house was going to slap me for a few seconds there. I wasn't GOING to run back in the house, I just wanted to get to my family, who were at the neighbors to the north. I had gone to the house on the south, where the fire had spread to, to make sure that the woman who lived there was up. (She is fine, her dogs woke her up.)
You know people ask you "what would you save from a fire?" People answer "my cat" or "my purse" or "my safety deposit box." the answer is there is NO FUCKING TIME. there just ... it's gone, it's all gone.
I'm fine. Everyone in my family is fine, and that's the important thing. Even Rusty (the cat) is fine; I had let him out just a few minutes before. I'm the most badly hurt because I bruised my right shoulder fairly badly, I guess while I was pulling my sister out of the house, or maybe while I was restraining the next door neighbor's dogs. I spent the entire night awake, trying to call people, trying to reach my brother who doesn't have a cell phone anymore. The first person I got through to was AMK4, from 3WA--I left this truly fucking bizarre rambling message. poor guy.
The friend who posted my message was the second person I got through to ... he's been a fucking rock, so yeah. I am getting e'mails and whatnot. christ. I have no idea what the fuck to do, or what I need, or what. I miss my house, people. I miss my bed.
(for insurance reasons, I CANNOT speculate on what started the fire. Please understand and respect this in comments as well, as my computer access may be very limited in the coming weeks.)
They think that the house can be rebuilt--not even from ground up, just tear down the damaged bits & build from structural support.
My house is gone. It's ... well, mostly gone. TVs, beds, miscellaneous fucking CRAP THAT NO ONE FUCKING NEEDS UNTI IT IS GONE... my hair is so dry, I washed it 10 times trying to get the smoke out and I feel like I can still smell it. It's psychosomatic, I know. I still want my fucking conditioner.
90% of me just wants to move on. It's like "okay, the fire is over, time to get back to real life now." Only I can't. My real life is gone.
The other 10% is still outside my house, standing in front of it, watching my life go up in smoke. Watching the pillars of the breezeway fall and the smoke blurring my eyes so that all I can see is red, red, red.
I'm at the computer at the library across the street from my hou--where my house used to be. Everything in my house is gone. Everything, it's ... gone.
I was on the computer about midnight, when I smelled smoke. I had just been outside to take out the trash, and so I figured that it was just my parents smoking. My mother went upstairs and started screamed at me that the kitchen was on fire--I ran upstairs, and there was ... this inferno coming in from outside, my mother holding a fire extinguisher shouting at me frantically.
I pulled my little sister out of bed and shoved her outside; I ran into my parents' bedroom and woke up my father. My little brother was asleep downstairs, I remember running back downstairs and waking him up, carrying him halfway up the stairs when he wasn't fast enough.
I screamed and screamed and screamed. I thought the police officer who was restraining me from running back in the house was going to slap me for a few seconds there. I wasn't GOING to run back in the house, I just wanted to get to my family, who were at the neighbors to the north. I had gone to the house on the south, where the fire had spread to, to make sure that the woman who lived there was up. (She is fine, her dogs woke her up.)
You know people ask you "what would you save from a fire?" People answer "my cat" or "my purse" or "my safety deposit box." the answer is there is NO FUCKING TIME. there just ... it's gone, it's all gone.
I'm fine. Everyone in my family is fine, and that's the important thing. Even Rusty (the cat) is fine; I had let him out just a few minutes before. I'm the most badly hurt because I bruised my right shoulder fairly badly, I guess while I was pulling my sister out of the house, or maybe while I was restraining the next door neighbor's dogs. I spent the entire night awake, trying to call people, trying to reach my brother who doesn't have a cell phone anymore. The first person I got through to was AMK4, from 3WA--I left this truly fucking bizarre rambling message. poor guy.
The friend who posted my message was the second person I got through to ... he's been a fucking rock, so yeah. I am getting e'mails and whatnot. christ. I have no idea what the fuck to do, or what I need, or what. I miss my house, people. I miss my bed.
(for insurance reasons, I CANNOT speculate on what started the fire. Please understand and respect this in comments as well, as my computer access may be very limited in the coming weeks.)
They think that the house can be rebuilt--not even from ground up, just tear down the damaged bits & build from structural support.
My house is gone. It's ... well, mostly gone. TVs, beds, miscellaneous fucking CRAP THAT NO ONE FUCKING NEEDS UNTI IT IS GONE... my hair is so dry, I washed it 10 times trying to get the smoke out and I feel like I can still smell it. It's psychosomatic, I know. I still want my fucking conditioner.
90% of me just wants to move on. It's like "okay, the fire is over, time to get back to real life now." Only I can't. My real life is gone.
The other 10% is still outside my house, standing in front of it, watching my life go up in smoke. Watching the pillars of the breezeway fall and the smoke blurring my eyes so that all I can see is red, red, red.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 02:46 pm (UTC)I am so sorry this happened to you. Keep checking in when you can, everyone'll want to be there for you.
no subject
on Monday, March 1st, 2004 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:32 pm (UTC)my cousins house burned down once, my 3 year old cousin saved everyone.
I think in the end, the most important thing is that everyone is safe, everything else is just stuff... (although you probably dont agree, but losing stuff is a hell of a lot better than losing a brother, sister, mother, father, dog, cat, etc)
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:37 pm (UTC)you have a network of support in here and out there. use it if/when you need it.
*hugs*
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)I'll be home all weekend. Give me a call ANYTIME I mean it. If it's 5 AM and you want to talk CALL ME. 814 935 4093. Or I'll call you back if you call and give me a quick msg so you don't have to pay LD.
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 02:09 pm (UTC)If there's anything I can do, let me know.
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 02:55 pm (UTC)i'm here if you need anything.
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 03:04 pm (UTC)I am so sorry this had to happen to you....
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 04:12 pm (UTC)M
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 08:31 pm (UTC)Losing all of your things...I can't imagine it. But again, I'm glad no one lost anyone else.
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on Friday, February 27th, 2004 08:59 pm (UTC)Thank goodness everyone is alright, at least!
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on Friday, February 27th, 2004 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 03:14 am (UTC)I am so sorry you had such an awful, horrible experience... and while I am glad that you and your family weren't injured, and while that is a much better outcome than some others, I can only think of the loss you have suffered, the rebuilding ahead, and I know that even though I can't imagine how hard it will be, it will be difficult.
I don't know the depths of that grief, but I know what grief can do. Listen to the good advice people are giving you. Ask for the help that you need. You can survive this. If there is anything I can do, please ask. I wish I could do more to help you. You are in my thoughts.
no subject
on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC)I have been thinking about how to respond to this since you posted it. You've said sometimes you would rather have something small just to know that people were reading.
I am reading, I am worried and I do care.
*hugs*
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on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 08:34 pm (UTC)This would be a good opportunity to document what you've lost...and history/things in your life...in this livejournal (as private) or somewhere.
I'll pray for you and your family to recover from this tragedy.
no subject
on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
on Sunday, February 29th, 2004 10:03 am (UTC)[sorry i didn't respond sooner, i was out of town and just got home to read this. i hope things get better, like everyone else said, it's so good that you all came out of it okay, take care]
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on Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004 03:04 pm (UTC)I am sorry for your loss, but glad that you and your family made it out safely.
If you need anything, feel free to ask.