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erikaBarriers to change - Is there anything preventing you from changing? (from the weekly check-in at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
resolving)
Fear. Insecurity. Perfectionism. Doubt.
These are the Four Horsemen of my very own Personal Apocalypse.
Fear: I won't be good enough. I will fail and the consequences of my failure are more profound than anyone who has never stared at that abyss can know—the abyss of self-hatred, self-loathing, self-disgust, as if your self is a cockroach you've suddenly found in your mouth—such that suicide seems the only way, indeed the best thing to do, to rid the world of this monster that is you.
Insecurity: I am not capable enough. I am a failure. This is different from fear because insecurity says it has already come to pass and I just haven't cottoned on to the fact that I should really off myself because I'm a loser.
Perfectionism: If I don't do it perfectly, if I don't do it exactly right, then I shouldn't be allowed to do it—or anything, actually—at all.
Doubt: I don't believe in my capability to overcome, well, anything really. If I start something, I'm immediately worrying about how I'll finish it, if I'll finish it.
resolving)Fear. Insecurity. Perfectionism. Doubt.
These are the Four Horsemen of my very own Personal Apocalypse.
Fear: I won't be good enough. I will fail and the consequences of my failure are more profound than anyone who has never stared at that abyss can know—the abyss of self-hatred, self-loathing, self-disgust, as if your self is a cockroach you've suddenly found in your mouth—such that suicide seems the only way, indeed the best thing to do, to rid the world of this monster that is you.
Insecurity: I am not capable enough. I am a failure. This is different from fear because insecurity says it has already come to pass and I just haven't cottoned on to the fact that I should really off myself because I'm a loser.
Perfectionism: If I don't do it perfectly, if I don't do it exactly right, then I shouldn't be allowed to do it—or anything, actually—at all.
Doubt: I don't believe in my capability to overcome, well, anything really. If I start something, I'm immediately worrying about how I'll finish it, if I'll finish it.
