welcome to the new age (i'm waking up, i feel it in my bones)
Tuesday, November 4th, 2014 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
erikaI empathize too much with inanimate objects.
A month ago waspanda's birthday. Since a lot of you are also friends with her, go wish her a happy 'new year', because holy shit I am having major problems wanting to leave the house when Josh isn't going with me. When I started writing this entry, I first said 'in a few days' then 'yesterday' and then 'a week ago'. Time goes so fast.
Oh yeah, and it's my birthday too today. So it goes.
I can now say that I do want to be poly but my heart says OMFG YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE JOSH. This disconnect is cumbersome, to say the least. Aside from the sexual shenanigans (you know me, you know there have been those), we've been trying it slowly.* Very slowly. Too fast for me, but realistically pretty slowly. There's been some miscommunication, etc, but I'm trying to live and laugh and learn from it, engrave in my heart that It's okay, that maybe it comes with the territory of loving someone that your miscommunications sometimes double fail. Like D&D: living with someone means you get two dice rolls on communication, but if they both fail or if one crit fails, you're both screwed.
* Not to say I haven't had more threesomes in the past few months than you could shake a stick at, and I can shake a pretty hefty stick, as it turns out. (C'mon, you know me, only innuendo where inyourend-o would do?)
I'm still working at the mental health place as a peer support specialist. It's pretty awesome. I have some amazing people that I talk to, including my therapist.
I went into the hospital for a few days about a month after I got back from San Francisco, in early September. Went back on Abilify. There's little to say about that, except that I wish I didn't have to, but I'm okay with it.
There are quite a few things I wish I didn't have to be okay with, but I am. I suppose that's what being an adult is like. If it meant I would post this entry today still, I'd go into them, but I haven't, because I can't, because writer's block at the moment.
I've made some more friends IN REAL LIFE. Time remains to show how friendly they are, but I have an actual social life now and it's amazing, you guys.
Doesn't mean I love you any less. Just that sometimes I need to see other people, and I promise I'll always come back to you too, in my own special way.
A month ago was
panda's birthday. Since a lot of you are also friends with her, go wish her a happy 'new year', because holy shit I am having major problems wanting to leave the house when Josh isn't going with me. When I started writing this entry, I first said 'in a few days' then 'yesterday' and then 'a week ago'. Time goes so fast.Oh yeah, and it's my birthday too today. So it goes.
I can now say that I do want to be poly but my heart says OMFG YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE JOSH. This disconnect is cumbersome, to say the least. Aside from the sexual shenanigans (you know me, you know there have been those), we've been trying it slowly.* Very slowly. Too fast for me, but realistically pretty slowly. There's been some miscommunication, etc, but I'm trying to live and laugh and learn from it, engrave in my heart that It's okay, that maybe it comes with the territory of loving someone that your miscommunications sometimes double fail. Like D&D: living with someone means you get two dice rolls on communication, but if they both fail or if one crit fails, you're both screwed.
* Not to say I haven't had more threesomes in the past few months than you could shake a stick at, and I can shake a pretty hefty stick, as it turns out. (C'mon, you know me, only innuendo where inyourend-o would do?)
I'm still working at the mental health place as a peer support specialist. It's pretty awesome. I have some amazing people that I talk to, including my therapist.
I went into the hospital for a few days about a month after I got back from San Francisco, in early September. Went back on Abilify. There's little to say about that, except that I wish I didn't have to, but I'm okay with it.
There are quite a few things I wish I didn't have to be okay with, but I am. I suppose that's what being an adult is like. If it meant I would post this entry today still, I'd go into them, but I haven't, because I can't, because writer's block at the moment.
I've made some more friends IN REAL LIFE. Time remains to show how friendly they are, but I have an actual social life now and it's amazing, you guys.
Doesn't mean I love you any less. Just that sometimes I need to see other people, and I promise I'll always come back to you too, in my own special way.
no subject
on Tuesday, November 4th, 2014 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
on Tuesday, November 4th, 2014 05:39 pm (UTC)(am curious about details of polystuff. meeting folks through okcupid? living vicariously and all. don't need to share if you dunwanna.)
*offer of friendly hugs*
no subject
on Tuesday, November 4th, 2014 11:51 pm (UTC)♥